The Bible contains a lot of questions, and it doesn’t always provide satisfactory answers. So I’ve been answering some of the Bible’s questions myself. This time, I’m looking at questions from the book of Isaiah.

Isaiah’s questions

Isaiah asks: Why hold mere humans in esteem? Answer: As opposed to God? At least humans exist. And most of them are a lot nicer than him.

He asks: When someone tells you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Answer: Yes, they should not.

And he asks: Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? Answer: The living don’t know everything.

Isaiah asks: Does the ax raise itself above the person who swings it, or the saw boast against the one who uses it? Answer: No, those things are not autonomous, unlike what you’re comparing them to.

Isaiah asks: Who can thwart God’s purpose? His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back? And God asks: When I act, who can reverse it? Answer: Adam, Ahab, Satan, divorcees, Christians who eat forbidden food, and humans in general.

Isaiah asks the people of Tyre: Is this your city of revelry, the old, old city, whose feet have taken her to settle in far-off lands? Answer: No, I’m pretty sure cities don’t have feet.

Isaiah asks: Has the Lord struck Israel as he struck down those who struck her? Has she been killed as those were killed who killed her? Answer: Yes, constantly.

Isaiah asks: Who can fathom the Spirit of the Lord, or instruct the Lord as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge, or showed him the path of understanding?

Answer: Job and God’s prophets know what God thinks. God reveals his thoughts to mankind. Paul knows the whole will of God. The Corinthians must know it too, because God has given them all knowledge, so they “have the mind of Christ“. God has made the mystery of his will known to Paul and/or the Ephesians.

As for instructing God, according to Elihu, guardian angels instruct God to spare people. Moses counseled God and convinced him not to kill all the other Israelites. And a Gentile woman convinced Jesus that he was wrong to shun people like her, after which he started having his disciples preach to all nations instead of just to the Jews.

Isaiah asks: With whom, then, will you compare God? Answer: Hitler.

And he asks: To what image will you liken him? Answer: This one.

Isaiah asks someone: Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood since the earth was founded? Implied answer: Isaiah sounds like he’s trying to say the answer is yes. Real answer: I’m pretty sure Isaiah isn’t talking to God here, so the answer is no.

Isaiah asks: He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested?

Christian answer: This is a prediction that Jesus would be crucified and no one would care. Alternative biblical answer: I have no idea who Isaiah is really talking about, but let’s pretend he’s talking about Jesus. In that case, Pilate supposedly protested his own verdict. Which doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what the Bible says.

Isaiah asks: Who is this coming from Edom, from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson? Who is this, robed in splendor, striding forward in the greatness of his strength? Answer: I think it’s supposed to be God?

He asks: Where is he who brought them through the sea, with the shepherd of his flock? Where is he who set his Holy Spirit among them, who sent his glorious arm of power to be at Moses’ right hand, who divided the waters before them, to gain for himself everlasting renown, who led them through the depths? Answer: Well, he’s definitely not in a temple. He can’t be found anywhere on earth. And he can’t be in the heavens. Maybe he’s in the underworld?

Isaiah asks God: Why do you make us wander from your ways and harden our hearts so we do not revere you? Answer: God must be crazy.

Isaiah asks: How then can we be saved? Answer: You can be saved if God randomly decides to turn a blind eye to what you did wrong.

Isaiah asks God: After all this, will you hold yourself back? Will you keep silent and punish us beyond measure? Answer: You haven’t seen the last of the Jews’ hardships, if that’s what you mean.

Isaiah’s questions for the Jews

Isaiah asks the people of Judah: Why should you be beaten anymore? Answer: Who’s beating them? God? Well, God never does anything without explaining his intentions to his prophets, and you’re a prophet. So if even you don’t know why he’s doing it, then I guess God must be beating people for no reason.

And he asks them: Why do you persist in rebellion? Answer: Probably because following God’s laws is unreasonably hard to do. Even Jesus thinks so.

When King Ahaz, misinterpreting the scriptures like a lot of religious people do, claims that God doesn’t want him to “put him to the test” by asking him to do something, despite the fact that God’s prophet has just told him to ask God for a miraculous sign, Isaiah asks Ahaz: Is it not enough to try the patience of humans? Will you try the patience of my God also? Answer: I don’t know if he will (again), but he just did. He’s putting God’s patience to the test by refusing to “put the Lord to the test”.

Isaiah asks: Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”? Answer: Because they don’t see him doing anything for them.

God’s questions

God asks: What more could have been done for my vineyard than I have done for it? When I looked for good grapes, why did it yield only bad? Answer: You probably overwatered your vineyard.

God asks: Who is my equal? Answer: Jesus?

He asks: Who is blind but my servant, and deaf like the messenger I send? Who is blind like the one in covenant with me, blind like the servant of the Lord? Answer: I don’t know about blind and deaf, but hundreds of millions are blind.

He asks: Is there any God besides me? God’s answer: No, there is no other Rock; I know not one. Alternative biblical answer: It sure sounds like there are other gods. And if God is right that he’s the only one that’s a rock, and that stone gods are worthless, then that makes God the most worthless of all the gods.

God asks humans: Does the clay say to the potter, “What are you making?” Does your work say, “The potter has no hands”? Answer: No, clay can’t talk. But if we were talking about a thinking, talking creation, that would be completely different. That kind of created thing would be capable of questioning its creator. And if its creator couldn’t see the difference between this living being and an inanimate object, then it would be right to criticize its creator. Especially if its creator concluded that it was okay to destroy it because of the creator’s own mistakes.

God asks: How can I let myself be defamed? Answer: Well, I think the bad things people say about you have to be false for it to count as defamation. So if you wanted to be defamed, you’d have to start by being a very different god.

He asks: Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Answer: Yes, not all mothers are good mothers. God even immediately acknowledges that the answer is yes, and therefore his analogy doesn’t work. So I don’t know why he bothered asking this.

God asks: And now what do I have here? Answer: Everything.

God asks: Why spend money on what is not bread? Answer: Because people also need things that aren’t bread.

Then he asks: Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being? Answer: Well, everything God created is good, and not everything is good, so everything can’t have been created by God. In fact, everything in the world comes not from the Father but from the world. And the kingdom of heaven is not a created thing either.

God asks: Before she goes into labor, she gives birth; before the pains come upon her, she delivers a son. Who has ever heard of such things? Who has ever seen things like this? Answer: Such things aren’t unheard of.

He asks: Can a country be born in a day or a nation be brought forth in a moment? Answer: I don’t see why not.

And he asks: Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery? Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery? Implied answer: No. Real answer: Apparently you do. It happens, and you claim to be in control of everything that happens.

God’s questions for the Jews

God asks the people of Judah: What are your sacrifices to me? Answer: You said they were your food and that they smelled good and stuff.

God asks his people: Where is your mother’s certificate of divorce with which I sent her away? Answer: That would be something that you gave to her, right? So ask her. Why would you expect your children to know where it is?

And he asks them: To which of my creditors did I sell you? Answer: I haven’t heard anything about God being in debt to anyone. But as for selling his people, the Bible does say he sold them to several different nations.

Then he asks: When I came, why was there no one? When I called, why was there no one to answer? Answer: Because you sold them and sent them away?

And he asks: Was my arm too short to deliver you? Do I lack the strength to rescue you? Answer: It sounds like you were the one causing their trouble, so whether you could help if you wanted to doesn’t much matter.

God asks: Who are you that you fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass, that you forget the Lord your Maker, who stretches out the heavens and who lays the foundations of the earth, that you live in constant terror every day because of the wrath of the oppressor, who is bent on destruction? Answer: You want to know who the people are that you’re talking to? You’re talking to the Jews, I think.

And he asks them: Where is the wrath of the oppressor? Implied answer: All gone; God has taken care of that. Real answer: Everywhere they go, throughout the millennia?

Then he asks them: Who can comfort you? Who can console you? Answer: You’d think God could, but he’s the one asking the question like he doesn’t know who can do that, so I guess maybe he can’t.

God asks his people: In view of all your sin, should I relent? Answer: Knowing you, your punishment is probably going to cause a lot more damage than the actions you claim to be opposing. In view of that, yes, you should relent.

He asks them: Whom have you so dreaded and feared that you have not been true to me, and have neither remembered me nor taken this to heart? Answer: Probably you. If you’ve made them dread and fear you, as you seem to want them to do, that would explain why they don’t like you.

And he asks them: Is it not because I have long been silent that you do not fear me? Answer: That could certainly have something to do with it.

Then he asks them: Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for people to humble themselves? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying in sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? Answer: Actually, I don’t think your law says anything about any kind of fast. So why would you expect them to have any idea how you would like them to fast?

God asks: Where is the house you will build for me? Where will my resting place be? Answer: Jerusalem.

The Jews’ questions

The sinners in Jerusalem ask: Who of us can dwell with the consuming fire? Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning? Answer: According to the doctrine of hell, they all can.

King Hezekiah asks: In the prime of my life must I go through the gates of death and be robbed of the rest of my years? Answer: No, that’s not going to happen. Why would you think it would? Just because God said so?

Hezekiah also asks: But what can I say? Answer: This.

Isaiah says idolators don’t ask: Is not this thing in my right hand a lie? Answer: It is, but not because it’s an idol. It’s a lie because the god it represents doesn’t exist.

God predicts that the people of Jerusalem will ask: Where have these children of mine come from? Answer: Babylon?

To be continued…