Monthly Archives: April 2024

The Story of the Two Prophets
An Expensive Meal

During the reign of Jeroboam, God sent a prophet to deliver a message to the king. After ignoring the prophecy, the king invited the prophet to his home for a meal. But the prophet refused Jeroboam’s offer, because God had told him not to eat or drink until he got back to his own home.

On the way home, the prophet met an old prophet. The old prophet also invited him to have a meal, and the younger prophet explained again that he had to wait till he got home to eat. But the old prophet lied and told him that God wanted him to eat and drink with him. So the younger prophet went to the old prophet’s house and ate and drank. Then the old prophet declared that the younger prophet had disobeyed God and would be punished. The younger prophet tried to go home, but God sent a lion after him, and it killed him.

Continue reading The Story of the Two Prophets
An Expensive Meal
Share this post:

Will it be dark on the day of the Lord?

The prophets keep talking about this terrible day in the future called “the day of the Lord“. They say it will be a dark day: Isaiah says the sun will be darkened and the moon and stars won’t show their light. Similarly, Joel says the sun and moon will be darkened and the stars won’t shine. And Amos says that day will be darkness and not light, pitch-dark without a ray of brightness.

Continue reading Will it be dark on the day of the Lord?
Share this post:

How long before Jesus crushes everyone to death?

The book of Revelation reveals that one day, angels are going to harvest the grapes of the Earth and gather them into the great winepress of God’s wrath. Then someone (identified later in the book as Jesus) is going to trample those grapes until he’s surrounded by an enormous flood of blood from the grapes.

So that’s kinda weird. Why would grapes have blood in them? Is this supposed to be some kind of miracle or something? I don’t normally do this, but let’s assume the Bible is making a metaphor, and see where that takes us. Maybe when it says blood, it means grape juice!

…Or maybe when it says grapes, it means people. Yeah, that one’s more interesting. And more likely to be what they intended, I guess. So, how many people would Jesus have to murder to get that much blood? Let’s find out…

Continue reading How long before Jesus crushes everyone to death?
Share this post: