The Story of Abraham’s Sacrifice
Isaac and his Murderous Psycho Father

Ten generations after Noah, God promised a man named Abraham that he would have countless descendants through Isaac, the son of Abraham and his sister Sarah. But before Isaac could grow up and have children, the all-good God ordered Abraham to sacrifice Isaac as a burnt offering. So Abraham lied to his servants and his son about what he was planning to do, so they wouldn’t interfere. Then he tied up his son, put him on an altar, and picked up a knife

But then God sent an angel to tell Abraham that he didn’t actually need to kill Isaac after all, but God was very pleased that Abraham was willing to do so. God gave Abraham a free ram to “sacrifice” instead.

The end.

The moral of the story

God likes people who are willing to spontaneously murder their children just because a voice in their head told them to.

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