The Bible contains a lot of questions, and it doesn’t always provide satisfactory answers. So I’ve been answering some of the Bible’s questions myself. This time, I’m looking at questions from Old Testament stories after the kingdom split in two.

The people of Israel ask: What share do we have in David? Answer: Ten shares.

A widow asks Elijah: Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son? Answer: No.

Ahab’s palace administrator asks Elijah: Haven’t you heard that while Jezebel was killing God’s prophets, I hid a hundred of them in two caves and supplied them with food and water? Answer: Apparently he didn’t even hear you just now. He still thinks he’s the only prophet of God left.

God asks Elijah, twice: What are you doing here? Answer: Going on the journey your angel sent him on.

God asks: Who will entice Ahab into attacking Ramoth Gilead and going to his death there? Answer: Nobody has to. It was his idea in the first place.

When a Shunammite woman says she’s going to see Elisha, who has performed miracles to help her in the past, her husband asks: Why go to him today? Answer: Your son just died, in case you didn’t notice.

Elisha’s servant asks the Shunammite woman: Are you all right? Is your husband all right? Is your child all right? Her answer: Everything is all right. Real answer: No.

When Elisha predicts that grain will sell for normal prices tomorrow, an officer asks: Even if the Lord opened the floodgates of the heavens, could this happen? Answer: It’s not magic.

An officer asks the commander that God has chosen as the next king of Israel: Why did this maniac (prophet) come to you? Answer: To tell him to murder a bunch of slaves.

A priest’s son asks the people of Judah: Why do you disobey the Lord’s commands? Answer: Because it’s impossible not to?

Mordecai asks Esther: Who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this? Answer: I would think it would have been pretty well known that she was put in that position to replace Vashti.

Haman asks himself: Who is there that the king would rather honor than me? Answer: Esther? Oh, and that guy that saved his life. Him too.

Nehemiah’s enemies ask him: What is this you are doing? Answer: Planning.

They ask them: Are you rebelling against the king? Answer: No.

Later, one of those enemies asks: What are those feeble Jews doing? Answer: Restoring their wall.

He asks: Will they restore their wall? Answer: Yes.

He also asks: Will they offer sacrifices? Answer: Yes.

Then he asks: Will they finish in a day? Answer: No.

And he asks: Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble? Answer: You can’t bring something back to life if it was never alive.

Nehemiah asks the nobles and officials among his people: Shouldn’t you walk in the fear of our God to avoid the reproach of our Gentile enemies? Answer: Doesn’t sound like the best plan to me. Why would your Gentile enemies care about that?

Nehemiah asks his enemies: Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you? Answer: They think you should stop because they think the Jews are plotting a rebellion.

Nehemiah asks: Should a man like me run away? Or should someone like me go into the temple to save his life? Answer: I don’t see why not. There’s not a law against that, is there?

Nehemiah asks: Why is the house of God neglected? Answer: Because there’s no God living in it.

Nehemiah asks the nobles of Judah: What is this wicked thing you are doing—desecrating the Sabbath day? Answer: Providing people with food.

He asks them: Didn’t your ancestors do the same things, so that our God brought all this calamity on us and on this city? Answer: No, I don’t remember Sabbath violations being one of the reasons given for the fall of Jerusalem.

Kings’ questions

David’s great-grandson asks the king of Israel: Don’t you know that God has given the kingship of Israel to David and his descendants forever by a covenant? Answer: No, he didn’t really. It was a conditional promise, and David’s son failed to keep up his end of the agreement.

When a prophet announces that God will give a vast army into Ahab’s hand, Ahab asks: But who will do this? Answer: God just said he would.

Ahab asks Micaiah: How many times must I make you swear to tell me nothing but the truth in the name of the Lord? Answer: If you want him to say good things about you, you don’t need to do that at all.

Ahab asks Jehoshaphat: Didn’t I tell you that he never prophesies anything good about me, but only bad? Answer: You did, but you were wrong. Micaiah tries to say good things about you, but you don’t seem to like it when he does that either.

Jehoshaphat asks God: Are you not the God who is in heaven? Answer: Apparently not.

He asks God: Did you not give this land forever to the descendants of Abraham? Answer: It can’t be forever if he’s going to destroy the world.

Ahaziah asks his messengers: Why have you come back? Answer: They couldn’t bring you back an answer otherwise.

The king of Israel asks: Am I God? Can I kill and bring back to life? Answer: No.

The king of Israel asks a woman: If the Lord does not help you, where can I get help for you? Answer: You’re the king; you should be able to easily help.

When a prophet says he has a message for the commander, the commander asks: For which of us? Answer: For the person he just said it was for.

That commander, who God has chosen to be the next king of Israel, asks the current king: How can there be peace, as long as all the idolatry and witchcraft of your mother abound? Answer: By not having maniacs like you committing massacres.

The king of Assyria asks the king of Judah: Isn’t the God you’re depending on the one whose high places and altars you removed? Answer: No.

He asks: Have I come to attack and destroy this place without word from the Lord? Answer: The next chapter suggests he did.

The king of Persia asks Esther, twice: What is your request? Answer: Well, you’d think it would be to save her people from genocide, but apparently she’d rather make frivolous requests and try to waste her opportunities.

The king asks: Will Haman even molest the queen while she is with me in the house? Answer: No.

The king asks Esther: What have the Jews done in the rest of the king’s provinces? Answer: Killed people.

Prophets’ questions

Elijah asks God: Have you brought tragedy even on this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die? Answer: Yes. Everything that happens is God’s fault.

Elijah asks Ahab: Have you not murdered a man and seized his property? Answer: No, Jezebel has.

One of Ahab’s prophets asks Micaiah: Which way did the spirit from the Lord go when he went from me to speak to you? Answer: In the direction of Micaiah, I would assume.

A prophet named Jehu asks Jehoshaphat: Should you help the wicked and love those who hate the Lord? Answer: No, yes.

Elisha asks: Where now is the Lord, the God of Elijah? Answer: Well, we’ve already established that he’s not in heaven, and he can’t be found on earth, either…

Elisha asks the other prophets: Didn’t I tell you not to go? Answer: Yes, but you also told them to go.

Elisha asks Joram the evil king of Israel: Why do you want to involve me? Answer: Because Jehoshaphat the good king of Judah suggested it.

Elisha asks the king of Israel: Why have you torn your robes? Answer: Because he thinks the king of Aram is trying to provoke him.

Elisha asks: Is this the time to take money or to accept clothes or fields or livestock or slaves? Answer: Well, if you must own slaves, I suppose thousands of years ago is the time to do it.

Oded asks the army of Israel: Aren’t you also guilty of sins against the Lord your God? Answer: Do you really have to ask that after mentioning their mass murder and slavery, or is that totally unrelated?

For more answers, see part 7.