Relative discrimination

Here’s what the Bible says about discrimination based on who you’re related to:

Pharaoh treated Abraham well because he had a beautiful sister who Pharaoh didn’t know was also Abraham’s wife.

God, Jesus, and Paul insist that you have to honor your parents, even though not all parents are honorable. Under God’s law, you could be cursed or even killed for saying bad things about your parents. According to the idiot who wrote Proverbs 30, your eyes will be pecked out by ravens and eaten by vultures if you ever scorn or mock your parents. And Jesus says it’s wrong to donate money to God instead of using it to help out your parents.

Members of a priest’s family can eat the food that people offer “to God”, but nobody else gets to. Even God doesn’t eat it.

God says you can’t treat your younger son like he’s your firstborn just because he’s the son of your favorite wife.

God told Gideon to kill all the Midianites, who were oppressing his people. But Gideon wouldn’t have killed the kings of Midian if they hadn’t killed Gideon’s brothers. Later, the author of Judges acts like the Israelites were wrong not to be loyal to the family of Gideon just because Gideon had done good things for them.

The people of the city of Shechem preferred to have just Abimelek rule over them rather than have all his brothers rule over them too, because Abimelek was the son of a woman from Shechem.

David wanted to be kind to Mephibosheth just because he was the son of David’s best friend. (He was also the grandson of David’s enemy.) David also wanted to be kind to the son of Nahash the Ammonite king just because Nahash had supposedly been kind to him.

A psalm says God will make people mighty because their parents like his commands. David thought God was going to show unfailing love to David’s descendants forever. He didn’t really do that, though. In fact, God said David’s descendants would never be safe from the sword, because of what David did.

Solomon says if you fear God, your children will be safe. And if you’re good, your children will be blessed, and your grandchildren will inherit money from you. God blesses or curses your whole household depending on how righteous you are. Solomon says a servant will end up being favored over a son, if the servant is more prudent than the son. And he claims that God will bless a whole land if its king is born to nobles.

God says if three righteous men lived in a sinful country, he would only spare those three men. He wouldn’t spare their children just for being related to the righteous men. He says he won’t spare a wicked man for having a righteous father, and he won’t kill a righteous man for having a wicked father.

Discriminating against someone’s relatives

You’re not allowed to enter God’s assembly if your ancestors ten generations ago were married when they weren’t allowed to be married.

If you don’t obey all of God’s laws, God will inflict extreme curses not just on you, but also on your children and all your descendants. And God will also get your fiance raped, and force you to eat your children.

Solomon says God curses the whole household of the wicked. Solomon also says you shouldn’t go to your relatives when you need help. He says it’s better to go to your friend, or your family’s friend. (At least if they don’t live too far away.)

Descendants of Caleb1 are stereotyped in the Bible as surly and mean. And the author of 2 Kings acts like you can’t be expected to be a good person if you’re related even by marriage to an evil person.

When David took a census because God told him to, God said he was going to punish David for that. But then he punished the rest of Israel for it instead. David pointed out that God was punishing the wrong people, and suggested that God should punish him and his family instead. Which makes a lot more sense than what God was doing, but it still doesn’t make any sense. Because David’s family hadn’t done anything wrong. (And also because David hadn’t done anything wrong, unless obeying God is wrong.)

David looked forward to seeing God wipe out all the descendants of his enemies. The sons of Korah wrote a song to try to get somebody’s daughter to forget about her family and her country.

God’s chosen king Jeroboam was evil, so God chose a new king for Israel. He had the new king kill all of Jeroboam’s relatives and slaves. Then God decided that king was evil too, so he did the same thing to the new king’s family. Later, God had Jehu do the same thing to King Ahab’s relatives and slaves,2 and then God punished Jehu’s family because Jehu had done what God told him to do.

God didn’t like Jehoiachin, so he declared that none of Jehoiachin’s offspring could ever prosper or reign over Judah.

God announced through the prophet Jeremiah that he had decided prophecy wouldn’t be allowed anymore. If anyone claimed to have a message from God, God would punish that person’s whole household.

The people in Jesus’s hometown somehow found the idea offensive that a member of a familiar family from their own town could be a wise miracle-working prophet. And Jesus said that’s how it always is; prophets are never honored by their relatives.

Jesus acts like if you’re a descendant of murderers, you might as well be a murderer yourself. He says you should never invite your relatives to dinner, only invite poor and disabled people. And he says people who don’t hate their families can’t be his disciples.

Matthew claims that the Jews volunteered to have their descendants take the blame for killing Jesus.

Paul says if your mother or grandmother is a widow and in need, you should be the one who has to help her. If you don’t provide for your relatives, you have “denied the faith”.

Against an unfavored person’s children

One of Noah’s sons accidentally saw him naked, so Noah cursed not his son, but his son’s son and all his descendants to be slaves forever.

All of Job’s children got killed just because they were related to the guy that God and Satan had decided to torment for no good reason.

The children of a fool are not safe from being cursed along with him, at least according to Eliphaz. Job said children will go blind if their parents are bribed to slander their friends, because God likes to punish the children of the wicked instead of actually punishing the wicked. Job said God also makes sure the children always go hungry and get killed with the sword. Not because they did anything wrong, but because their parents did. God confirmed that Job had spoken the truth about him.

Some men thought David would appreciate it if they murdered the innocent son of David’s enemy Saul. David did not approve, and he had those guys killed. But later, God withheld rain from his people for three years until almost all of the rest of the descendants of Saul had been killed, because of what Saul had done, not because of anything the descendants had done. And David was happy to go along with that.

David encouraged God to not just punish the wicked, but also punish their little children. He wanted his enemy’s children to be beggars who no one would take pity on. And somebody else wrote a song about how great it would be to smash his oppressor’s babies against the rocks.

God said he wouldn’t love his wife’s children because of what his wife did. And God killed somebody’s children just because Joshua had said whoever rebuilt Jericho would lose his oldest and youngest children. God doesn’t like it when people say he punishes people for what their parents did, even though he does do that.

After some men tricked a king into having Daniel thrown into the lions’ den, the king had those men and their wives and children thrown into the lions’ den.

In one of Jesus’ parables, the character representing God was going to have a man and his wife and children enslaved to pay for the man’s debt.

Discriminating against people who aren’t related to someone

When God drowned nearly everyone in the world, he decided to keep a few people alive just because they were part of righteous Noah’s family. It never says those family members who weren’t Noah were righteous. So given what it does say, I’ll have to assume they were evil.

Abraham said he didn’t want to quarrel with Lot because they were close relatives. If that’s his reason, I guess he would have been fine with quarreling with him if they hadn’t been close relatives.

The angels God sent to Sodom were going to spare Lot’s wife and sons-in-law, and did spare Lot’s daughters, even though Lot was the only righteous person there. Or at least Peter thinks he was, but even Lot wasn’t actually a good person. God only spared him because he was Abraham’s cousin.

Abraham insisted that his son marry one of his relatives. Samson’s parents also would have preferred him to marry one of his own relatives.

When Jacob thought Esau and his men were coming to attack him and his family, he took his family with him and went to confront Esau. But he put his servant-wives and their children in front, and his favorite wife and her son safely in back.

God made rules that anyone who approached his sanctuary or offered him incense would be killed, unless they were part of Aaron’s family. (Not that being sons of Aaron helped much…) Everybody acted like good king Uzziah was doing something terribly wrong when he made an incense offering to God, because he wasn’t a descendant of Aaron.

God told the descendants of Jacob not to get into a war with the Edomites, who were the descendants of Jacob’s brother Esau. And he told them not to steal anything from them. They weren’t even allowed to despise an Edomite. But everybody else in Caanan, he wanted them to plunder and kill.

There’s an oddly specific biblical law that says you can’t cook a young goat in its mother’s milk. There’s no rule against cooking a young goat in an unrelated goat’s milk,3 but don’t do it to the young of the goat you got the milk from!

God’s law says only the brother of a dead man can marry the dead man’s widow. Boaz couldn’t marry Ruth until he had made sure that no one more closely related to her dead husband wanted to marry her.

The Israelites killed almost everyone in Jericho, but they spared the family of the prostitute who had helped their spies by lying. Jephthah’s half-brothers drove him away and said he wouldn’t get any inheritance, because he wasn’t a son of their father’s wife.

Asaph says God says to a wicked person that the wicked person is wrong to slander his own brother. He makes it sound like the fact that it’s his brother makes it worse, so I guess God would prefer people to only slander unrelated people.

Solomon says even the relatives of the poor shun them, but the mere friends of the poor avoid them even more. Solomon’s favorite girlfriend thinks only siblings can kiss in public without being despised.

A woman complained that she and another woman had agreed to eat both of their sons, but after they ate her son, the other woman hid her own son so they didn’t get to eat him.

God says a priest isn’t allowed to defile himself by being near a dead person, unless it’s a dead family member. Then it’s fine for him to defile himself.

Jesus says the children of kings don’t have to pay taxes.

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Does everyone who loves others fulfill the law?

Paul states that whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. He goes on to explain that what he’s saying is that what all the commandments amount to is loving people. And that’s why love is the fulfillment of the law. 1 John says that to love God is to keep his commands. And it also says everyone who loves others has been born of God, and that means they can’t sin anymore. So let’s look at a few examples of people in the Bible who loved others.

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The Story of John the Baptist
Too Many Herods!

John the Baptist, a relative of Jesus, was in the wilderness of Judea, baptizing and insulting people. People thought he was demon-possessed. He made people get in the river, even though it’s possible to be baptized without getting wet at all.

Jesus (now grown up) came to the river where John was baptizing. John thought Jesus should be the one baptizing him, because he thought Jesus was greater than him. But Jesus wasn’t actually any greater than John, so Jesus had John baptize him instead.

Then John was put in prison for claiming that it was against the law for King Herod‘s son Herod to marry his niece Herodias after she divorced his brother Herod Philip. Herod and his wife Herodias both wanted to kill John, but Herod was hesitant to kill someone who was thought of as a prophet.

On Herod’s birthday, Herodias got her sexy daughter to help her convince Herod to have John beheaded immediately. Herod was very distressed at the thought of having to kill the man he wanted to kill. But he did it anyway, because he had promised to give his hot stepdaughter/niece whatever she asked for.

(Herodias’s daughter married Herod’s other brother who was also named Herod Philip. And later, she married the son of one of Herodias’s two brothers who were named Herod. Herodias’s other brother, Herod Agrippa, later persecuted the disciples of Jesus, and then an angel killed him for failing to point out that he wasn’t a god. Herod Agrippa’s son was… Herod Agrippa, who met the “apostle” Paul.)

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Too Many Herods!
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What was Joseph’s position relative to Pharaoh?

After Joseph gave Pharaoh explanations for his dreams, Pharaoh put Joseph in charge of his palace. And Pharaoh declared that all the Egyptians would have to submit to Joseph’s orders. But that doesn’t mean Joseph would be above even Pharaoh, does it?

Since Pharaoh was still the king, Pharaoh would still be greater than Joseph. Joseph was second-in-command. Joseph still had to ask Pharaoh for permission to leave the country temporarily. He couldn’t even easily speak to Pharaoh in person.

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God has no excuse for punishing people

When the Bible describes God “punishing” people, most of the time he’s actually harming innocent people instead of the person who actually did something wrong. But even when he does manage to target the right person, is it right for him to be harming people?

If you’re going to be inflicting harm on people, you’d better have a very good reason to do it. There are several purposes that punishment is meant to accomplish, that are said to justify the practice of punishing people. But those justifications are questionable, and particularly if you’re God, none of the justifications apply. God has no excuse for ever punishing anyone.

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Is it better to be rich or poor?

It’s better to be poor.

It is wrong to seek money so that you can spend it on your pleasures. You should be content with what you already have. And having food and clothing is enough. David, who always did what God wanted him to, was poor and needy. So being poor must be something God wants people to do. Nebuchadnezzar forced most of the people of Judah out of their land, but the poorest people got to stay.

Those who trust in their riches are not righteous, and they will not continue to thrive. The rich occupy low positions. So don’t set your heart on your riches. If you want to get rich, you will be ruined. And if you do get rich, you will disown God!

Don’t hoard wealth. That’s unforgivable. If you do, you will bring harm on yourself. You will lose it all and be tortured and killed. It is much better to fear God and have wisdom, knowledge, righteousness, and a good reputation than to have gold and silver. Which means you have to choose between them, apparently, or else there would be no point in comparing them like that. So don’t store up treasures on earth, only in heaven.

If you’re rich, God will demand a lot more from you. To be perfect and to have eternal life and lasting treasure in heaven, you have to get rid of everything you own. You can’t be a Christian unless you give up everything you have. Worldly wealth will prevent you from getting into the kingdom of God, at least without divine intervention.

God doesn’t feed rich people, and if you’re rich, people won’t be allowed to give you gifts. But if you’re poor, people won’t be allowed to deny you justice. If they do, God will defend you to the death.

Everyone will be legally required to be generous to you if you’re poor. Christians definitely won’t treat you worse if you’re poor, but they might have something against you if you’re rich. Christians only invite poor people to their banquets, not rich people. Poor people get free food! People who don’t give the poor whatever they want deserve to lose an arm!

It’s better to be rich.

Gaining wealth is a good thing, and losing wealth is a bad thing. Being rich makes you much more popular. If you use your wealth to honor God, you will be rewarded with more wealth. But if you use your wealth to gain friends for yourself, you will be rewarded with eternal life! Only people who are good with money will be rewarded in the afterlife. Money is the answer for everything.

Wealth comes from God. It’s a reward for trusting, fearing, and obeying him and doing good. Being righteous and wise will make you get rich and stay rich. Abraham, who always did what God wanted him to do, was wealthy. So being rich must be something God wants people to do.

Being poor is a bad thing. The poor are foolish, and don’t know the way of the Lord. You will not be poor if you are righteous. Being poor makes you vulnerable, forces you to steal, and makes everyone shun you.

If you’re rich, people won’t be allowed to curse you, or to be biased against you. But if you’re poor, you won’t get any mercy from the rich. Only the poor are at risk of being punished with slavery under God’s law. Jesus will solve all your problems for you, unless you’re poor. Then he’ll just tell you “good news”.

It’s… unclear what’s better.

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The Story of the Birth of Jesus
The Massacre of the Innocents

Over a hundred years after the time of Esther, Judea (the home of the Jews) was taken over by the Greeks when Alexander the Great arrived. And three hundred years after that, the Roman Empire took it over.

A carpenter named Joseph, who was descended from the kings of Judah, was engaged to a woman named Mary. Then God impregnated her, which nearly caused them to break up. But God insisted that Joseph should marry Mary anyway, so he did. But he didn’t have sex with her until after she gave birth to God’s baby, which they named Jesus.

While Mary was pregnant, Joseph decided to go to Bethlehem to take part in the governor Quirinius’s census of Judea. Even though Joseph didn’t live in Judea, and even though the census wouldn’t happen till several years later. And Jesus was born there.

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The Massacre of the Innocents
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Do wisdom and wealth always go together?

Yes.

Solomon, the wisest man ever, says if you hold onto his teachings, they’ll bring you prosperity. He says Wisdom holds riches in her hand, and that she calls out offering to make people’s treasuries full with a rich inheritance of riches and enduring wealth. He says anyone who loves understanding will soon prosper. He contrasts fools and the rich, taking it for granted that those are not the same people.

Jeremiah wasn’t surprised that some people were foolish, because they were just poor people. And according to Hosea, God says any nation that lacks understanding will inevitably come to ruin.

No.

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The Story of Queen Esther
A Leisurely-Delivered Urgent Message

An ineffective feminist, a beauty queen, and a genocidal anti-Semite

Xerxes king of Persia (the grandson of Cyrus) held a banquet. He showed off his vast wealth to his nobles and officials and subjects there. He wanted to show off his beautiful wife Vashti too, but she refused to come. The king consulted seven wise men, and they said he should divorce Vashti. That way, all the women in his kingdom wouldn’t think they could get away with disobeying their husbands. So he divorced her.

Now the king needed to find a new wife. So he had lots of beautiful young women from all over the kingdom brought into his harem, so he could try them out. After four years of this, the king found that a girl named Esther was the most attractive. And he made her his new queen.

King Xerxes’ top official was Haman, a descendant of Agag the Amalekite and enemy of the Jews. The king commanded everyone to kneel before Haman, but Esther’s cousin, Mordecai the Jew, refused to do so. This made Haman very angry. So he convinced the king to have all the Jews in the kingdom killed at the end of the year. The king was happy to issue this decree. (He didn’t realize that his wife Esther was Jewish, since she had never told him.)

Esther tries to waste her opportunities

When Mordecai heard about what was happening, he told Esther she should talk to her husband about it. But Esther said no one was allowed to approach the king without being summoned. Anyone who did was usually killed. And the king hadn’t called for her in a month. But Mordecai said if Esther didn’t go to the king, she would be killed anyway, because she was Jewish. So Esther decided to go ask the king for help.

The king was happy to see his beautiful wife, and decided not to kill her for entering his presence. He asked her what she wanted. But instead of telling him, she asked him and Haman to attend a banquet with her. At the banquet, the king asked Esther what she wanted again. But instead of telling him, she asked him and Haman to attend another banquet with her the next day.

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A Leisurely-Delivered Urgent Message
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Had the Spirit been given before?

Fairly early in the gospel of John, it mentions that believers would later receive the Spirit, but that up to that time it had not been given to anyone, because Jesus hadn’t been “glorified” yet. Later in John, shortly before Jesus was arrested, he stated that he had to go away before “the Advocate” would come to his disciples. So it sounds like no one was ever given the Spirit until after Jesus died. Later, Paul says the Spirit has revealed insights about Christ to certain people like him, but not to anyone in any other generations.

But there are plenty of passages in the Bible before those, that indicate that people had already been given the Spirit, most of them having received it many generations before this. Or at least Christian translators like to make it look that way. And some of those people had insights into Christ, long before he was even born. Or at least that’s how Christians like to interpret their prophecies.

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