The Story of Noah’s Ark
The One Where God Decides to Kill Everybody

More than 1500 years after the perfect God created his perfect world, he realized that creating humans had been a bad idea, because humans are evil. To correct his mistake, God decided to kill all the humans, and all the animals too, for some reason. But there was one righteous man in the world who God didn’t want to kill, and his name was Noah.

So God told Noah to build a big wooden ark, which is a chest or box. The never-changing God decided to put some people and animals in the box to keep them alive, defeating his own plan to kill all living things. So Noah got in the box with his corrupt family and a bunch of animals.

Then it rained for 40 days, and the whole earth was flooded for several months. Everyone inside the floating box was kept safe, while God drowned all the evil people outside the box. That’s why there are no evil people anymore. God also destroyed the earth. That’s why the earth doesn’t exist anymore.

After the flood was over, everyone got out of the box, and righteous Noah killed and burned some of the few animals left in the world. God smelled the burnt animals, and he liked the smell. So the never-changing, always-truthful God said he would never kill everything again, because then there wouldn’t be any more smelly animals to burn for him. God invented the rainbow to remind himself not to destroy the world with a flood again. Next time he destroys the world and kills everything, he’ll use fire instead.

So then righteous Noah got drunk, and when he heard that his son Ham had seen him passed out naked, he cursed Ham’s innocent son Canaan and made him a slave.

The end.

The moral of the story

Wiping out humanity is only an effective way to put an end to evil if you do it thoroughly.


Previous story:

Cain and Abel

Next story:

The Tower of Babel

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