Love them.

Paul instructed the husbands among his followers to love their wives and not be harsh with them. He said they should love their wives as much as they love and care for their own bodies. They should love them as much as Jesus loved and cared for the church. And Peter seemed to agree. He at least thought husbands should be considerate of their wives and treat them with respect.

Hate them.

God told Ezekiel a story where he had a wife, who he called vile and detestable. He got angry at her and got a mob to steal her jewelry, burn down her house, strip her publicly, and murder her with stones and swords.

God also told him another story, where he had two wives, who he called depraved and disgusting. He handed one over to people who kidnapped her children, stripped her, and killed her. And then he got angry at the other one too, so he got several armies to come and kidnap and murder her children, burn down her house, cut off her nose and ears, and kill her with stones, swords, and fire.

The Bible says God is perfectly good and we should follow his example. So if God hates his wives that much (or at least wants us to think of him as hating his wives), clearly we should hate our own wives as well.

Jesus said people who don’t hate their wives can’t be his disciples.

Peter said it was good for slaves to passively submit to their masters in fear, no matter how evil, inconsiderate, and harsh those masters might be. In fact, he thought it was particularly good if slaves were beaten and suffered when they had done nothing wrong. And then he said wives should submit to their husbands in the same way.