Judging by what the Bible says about them, it seems God and Satan do a lot of the same things.

God owns and controls the whole world. And so does Satan.

The devil doesn’t want people to do what’s right. And God doesn’t want people to even know what’s right.

The devil is a liar, and the father of lies. So is God, who deceives people all the time. God told the first lie, and he even uses his mind control powers to help Satan lie more effectively.

God made a tree with fruit that could bring death, as well as one with fruit that could bring immortality. And he punished humanity with death when they ate the fruit from the first of those trees. It’s not really clear whether or not he had made humans immortal to begin with, but either way, it is clear that God holds the power of death. And according to the Bible, so does the devil. (The devil doesn’t seem to do much with that power, though, unlike God, who is the reason people die.)

It’s the devil’s fault that there are evil people in the world. It’s also God’s fault that there are evil people in the world. How could it not be, if God is the ultimate cause of all things in existence? According to God, humans are just evil, and God really never should have made humans in the first place.

When people do evil, it’s often because they are being influenced by the devil. And far more often, it’s because they are being influenced by God. How could it not be, if everything that happens is part of God’s plan?

God ruined Job, a blameless and upright God-fearing man, destroying nearly everything Job had, for no reason. (The devil made him do it!) Then Satan inflicted physical torments on Job. (With God’s permission.) Actually, Satan helped a little when God was wrecking Job’s life. And God helped a lot when Satan was wrecking Job’s body. (Helped Satan, I mean, not helped Job.) Teamwork!

God teaches people not to blaspheme, and so does Satan. Apparently Satan is pretty helpful to Christians that way.

God saves people from hell, and so does Satan. Though the devil also gets in the way of people believing and being saved, and so does God. And Jesus.

Satan induces people to commit adultery, and so does God. Maybe that’s why Jesus thinks you need to ask God not to lead you into temptation.

According to 1 Chronicles, Satan incited David to take a census. And according to the version of that same story in 2 Samuel, God incited David to take a census. Both Satan and God are described as taking action against Israel when they do this. It’s like they’re allies or something.

Some people, particularly prophets, can only do and say what the Lord tells them to. He has taken them captive to do his will. Just like the devil, except with no hope of escape.

Satan encourages people to needlessly do dangerous things that will probably get them killed, claiming dubiously that God will protect them. And so does Jesus, who the Bible says is God. The only difference is that Satan cites prior scripture which supports his claim,¹ while Jesus just recklessly makes things up.

God displays his power through signs and wonders and miracles, which no one can do unless God is with them. And so does Satan, which proves that God is on his side.

The devil tells people not to love their brothers and sisters. And Jesus tells people to hate their brothers and sisters. And their fathers and mothers. And their wives and children.

Satan made Judas betray Jesus. And God betrayed Jesus himself.

God and Satan worked together to keep Paul from becoming conceited. Paul’s weakness was a messenger of Satan, and it was God’s will for Paul to be tormented by it.

Satan (depicted as a dragon in the book of Revelation) is going to try to punish a bunch of innocent people because he’s angry about what one of their parents did. Just like God does, all the time.

The dragon will give power and authority to the beast, and so will God. The devil is selflessly giving up his own authority to the beast, but God is empowering this evil beast because it will serve God’s own purposes.

Satan is going to gather all the nations together to attack God’s people. And so is God. The only difference is that Satan will fail, while God will succeed in getting all the women of Jerusalem raped.