At one point, the genealogies in Genesis list Korah as a son of Eliphaz, who was a son of Esau. But everywhere else in the Bible, it says Korah was Esau’s son, including several times in that same chapter that says he was his grandson. Also in the first chapter of 1 Chronicles.
Continue reading Was Korah the son or grandson of Esau?
The Story of the Good Kings of Judah—
No Rest for the Righteous
After Queen Athaliah was murdered, she was replaced by the seven-year-old king Joash. He reigned for 40 years, doing what was right. Joash had two wives, and he wouldn’t worship God or listen to his prophets. God got Joash severely wounded in battle, and then his own officials murdered him.
Joash was succeeded by his son Amaziah, who killed his father’s murderers. He reigned for 29 years, doing what was right. Just like his father, Amaziah wouldn’t worship God or listen to his prophets. So God got the king of Israel to attack Judah, and then Amaziah got murdered, too.
Continue reading The Story of the Good Kings of Judah—No Rest for the Righteous
Does everyone who seeks find?
Yes.
David told his son Solomon that if he sought God, then he would find him. And Solomon told his son that if he looked for insight and understanding like he was looking for treasure, then he would find knowledge and understanding of God. Solomon says Wisdom says those who seek wisdom find it.
But is this a general thing, or does it only apply to God, wisdom, and… God-wisdom? According to Jesus, it’s a universal principle: Just as everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks finds. But according to the Bible, Jesus is wrong. Plenty of people have sought and not found.
No.
Continue reading Does everyone who seeks find?The Bible’s questions, answered—part 7: Answers to questions from Job
The Bible contains a lot of questions, and it doesn’t always provide satisfactory answers. So I’ve been answering some of the Bible’s questions myself. This time, I’m looking at questions that Job asked. But first, a couple of questions from God to Satan.
God asks Satan: Where have you come from? Answer: I suppose God must have created him. What did you do that for, God?
On another day, God asks Satan: Have you considered my servant Job? Answer: Yes, he already told you in the previous chapter what he thought about Job. Have you forgotten already?
Job asks: Why did I not die at birth? Answer: Because then God wouldn’t get to torture you, I guess.
Job asks: Does a wild donkey bray when it has grass? Answer: Yes, donkeys bray for lots of different reasons.
He asks: Is tasteless food eaten without salt? Answer: I’d be surprised if that wasn’t the case somewhere in the world.
And he asks: Is there flavor in the sap of the mallow? Answer: Not much.
He asks: Is there any wickedness on my lips? Answer: No, there’s nothing wrong with saying God is unjust. God doesn’t seem to think there is, anyway. After Job spends the whole book insisting that God has treated him unjustly, God says Job has spoken the truth about him.
Job asks: Do not mortals have hard service on earth? Are not their days like those of hired laborers? Answer: I guess so… for the ones that are hired laborers, at least.
He asks: Are not my few days almost over? Answer: No.
He asks: Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Answer: Depends on what you mean by “test”. That sounds more like the brain’s department to me.
And he asks: Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding? Answer: Not significantly.
Then he asks: Why do I put myself in jeopardy and take my life in my hands? Answer: You want to challenge God’s apparent assessment of your morality because you aren’t fully aware of just how little God cares about that.
He asks: Can anyone bring charges against me? Answer: Yes, but they’re false ones.
He asks: How many wrongs and sins have I committed? Answer: None that I know of.
Job asks: Who can bring what is pure from the impure? His self-answer: No one. Alternative biblical answer: Elisha can. So can silversmiths. And harvesters. And fathers. God does it all the time, too. Your tongue is a world of evil, full of deadly poison, but that doesn’t stop it from praising God. And evildoers who don’t do God’s will can drive out demons and stuff just as well as anyone.
He asks: If someone dies, will they live again? His implied answer: No. Alternative biblical answer: Yes. Real answer: Not likely, but it depends on how you define death.
He asks: Where is my hope? Who can see any hope for me? Answer: You did just a few verses ago.
And he asks: Will it go down to the gates of death? Will we descend together into the dust? Answer: Yes.
He asks: Why do the wicked live on, growing old and increasing in power? Answer: Because there’s no just God running the world.
Job asks: How often is the lamp of the wicked snuffed out? Implied answer: Not often enough. Real answer: Always. All wicked people die, just like all good people.
He asks: Who denounces the conduct of the wicked to their face? Answer: The people who disapprove of them?
And he asks: Who repays them for what they have done? Answer: The legal system?
Job asks: Who can understand “the thunder of his power”? Answer: Anyone who cares to learn about it.
Job asks: Where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell? Answer: In wise people.
Questions about God
Job asks his wife: Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? Answer: Yes, of course. Unless we reject the idea that God is completely good, it would make no sense to accept that God did something bad.
Job changes his tune, and asks: Why is life and light given to those in bitter misery, who God has hedged in, who seek and long for death that does not come, who will rejoice when they reach the grave? Answer: You can’t improve things if you’re dead.
Job asks: How can mere mortals prove their innocence before God? Answer: Just be innocent, and he’ll know. He may not care, though.
He asks: Who has resisted God and come out unscathed? Answer: Satan seems to be doing fine so far. Or how about George Carlin? Or Charles Bradlaugh…
Then he asks: Who can say to him, “What are you doing?” Answer: Anyone.
He asks: How can I dispute with him? How can I find words to argue with him? Answer: No problem, he doesn’t even disagree with you. Just keep going.
And he asks: If it is a matter of justice, who can challenge him? Answer: Come on, look at what you just said about him a few verses ago. And a few verses after. It’s not at all hard to beat that. Unless by “who can challenge him”, you mean “Who could be less just?”, or “Who can convince him to stop being so unjust”…
Job asks: If you ask the animals, which of them does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? Answer: I couldn’t get any animals to talk to me about God, so I can only assume that none of them know.
He asks: Could you deceive him as you might deceive a mortal? Answer: Well, the book of Hebrews claims that Abraham knew all along that he wasn’t actually going to lose the son God told him to sacrifice. If that was true, that would mean Abraham tricked God into thinking he had proven that Abraham was willing give up his son for him, when Abraham didn’t actually expect to lose his son at all. So if Hebrews is right, I guess it is possible to deceive God.
Job asks: Is my complaint directed to a human being? Why should I not be impatient? Answer: You might think it would be because God doesn’t like that, but in this case it doesn’t really matter if Job does things God doesn’t like, since this story is about God punishing him even when he’s done nothing wrong.
Job imagines people asking: What would we gain by praying to God? Answer: The same results you would get if you prayed to a jug of milk.
Job asks: Can anyone teach knowledge to God, since he judges even the highest? Answer: Sure, might doesn’t make him right.
Job asks: If I could state my case before God, would he vigorously oppose me? Job’s self-answer: No, he would not press charges against me. Real answer: Yes, he already knows you’re innocent, so telling him so wouldn’t make any difference.
He asks: Who can oppose God? Answer: Jacob can physically overpower him!
Job asks: Why does the Almighty not set times for judgment? Why must those who know him look in vain for such days? Answer: Many answers have been proposed for questions like that. None of them make much sense except that God doesn’t exist.
Then he asks: If it’s not true that God makes sure wicked people quickly die, who can prove me false and reduce my words to nothing? Answer: Uh… you? You’re the one who’s been arguing against that.
He asks: What hope do the godless have when God takes away their life? Biblical answer: Same as anyone else who dies. None. The dead are all cut off from God and he never remembers them again. But don’t worry, that’s no worse than being alive, since there’s no hope for the living either!
Then he asks: Does God listen to their cry when distress comes upon them? Answer: No, God doesn’t listen to anyone.
He asks: Will they find delight in the Almighty? Will they call on God at all times? Answer: Will “the godless” do that? Uh, no.
Job asks: What is our lot from God? Is it not ruin for the wicked, disaster for those who do wrong? Answer: Yes, it is not.
And he asks: What will I do when God confronts me? What will I answer when called to account? Answer: You should tell him he shouldn’t have punished you for nothing, since doing that could easily make you give up on trying to please him. But all you’ll actually do is act like God has given you some reason to think you were wrong, when he hasn’t, and when he doesn’t even think you’ve said anything wrong.
Continue reading The Bible’s questions, answered—part 7: Answers to questions from JobWhat were the twelve tribes of Israel?
The Bible says the nation of Israel consisted of twelve tribes, and it often lists all of those tribes. Or tries to. But those lists of tribes are very inconsistent. All of these lists agree that the twelve tribes included Judah, Zebulun, Issachar, Asher, Naphtali, and Benjamin. But beyond those six, the various lists of tribes in the Bible can’t agree on what the rest of the tribes of Israel were.
Continue reading What were the twelve tribes of Israel?
The Story of Queen Athaliah—
Seven Year Bitch
God told a man named Jehu to murder Ahab’s son Joram so Jehu could replace him as king of Israel. So Jehu murdered Joram and his whole family. God was pleased. Ahaziah king of Judah was visiting Joram at the time, so Jehu also murdered Ahaziah and 42 of his relatives. Then Jehu murdered all the Israelites who worshipped Baal.
Continue reading The Story of Queen Athaliah—Seven Year Bitch
Should people honor their parents?
Yes.
God’s law says you should honor your father and your mother, and then you’ll have a good long life. It also says that people who dishonor their parents are to be cursed. And that people who curse their parents are to be killed.
Solomon says you should listen to and hold to what your parents teach you, and not despise them. If you mock your father or scorn your mother, ravens will peck your eye out. And if you curse your parents, you’ll die.
God said he was going to send the prophet Elijah to his people again, and if Elijah didn’t succeed in turning the hearts of the children to their parents, then God would totally destroy the land.
Jesus says honoring your parents is one of the good things you have to do to get eternal life. He says if you think giving money to God is more important than using it to help your parents, then you are breaking God’s command. So honoring your parents is even more important than honoring God. And Paul says it’s right for children to obey their parents “in the Lord”, whatever that means.
No.
Continue reading Should people honor their parents?The Bible’s questions, answered—part 6: Answers to questions after the split
The Bible contains a lot of questions, and it doesn’t always provide satisfactory answers. So I’ve been answering some of the Bible’s questions myself. This time, I’m looking at questions from Old Testament stories after the kingdom split in two.
The people of Israel ask: What share do we have in David? Answer: Ten shares.
A widow asks Elijah: Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son? Answer: No.
Ahab’s palace administrator asks Elijah: Haven’t you heard that while Jezebel was killing God’s prophets, I hid a hundred of them in two caves and supplied them with food and water? Answer: Apparently he didn’t even hear you just now. He still thinks he’s the only prophet of God left.
God asks Elijah, twice: What are you doing here? Answer: Going on the journey your angel sent him on.
God asks: Who will entice Ahab into attacking Ramoth Gilead and going to his death there? Answer: Nobody has to. It was his idea in the first place.
When a Shunammite woman says she’s going to see Elisha, who has performed miracles to help her in the past, her husband asks: Why go to him today? Answer: Your son just died, in case you didn’t notice.
Elisha’s servant asks the Shunammite woman: Are you all right? Is your husband all right? Is your child all right? Her answer: Everything is all right. Real answer: No.
When Elisha predicts that grain will sell for normal prices tomorrow, an officer asks: Even if the Lord opened the floodgates of the heavens, could this happen? Answer: It’s not magic.
An officer asks the commander that God has chosen as the next king of Israel: Why did this maniac (prophet) come to you? Answer: To tell him to murder a bunch of slaves.
A priest’s son asks the people of Judah: Why do you disobey the Lord’s commands? Answer: Because it’s impossible not to?
Mordecai asks Esther: Who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this? Answer: I would think it would have been pretty well known that she was put in that position to replace Vashti.
Haman asks himself: Who is there that the king would rather honor than me? Answer: Esther? Oh, and that guy that saved his life. Him too.
Nehemiah’s enemies ask him: What is this you are doing? Answer: Planning.
They ask them: Are you rebelling against the king? Answer: No.
Later, one of those enemies asks: What are those feeble Jews doing? Answer: Restoring their wall.
He asks: Will they restore their wall? Answer: Yes.
He also asks: Will they offer sacrifices? Answer: Yes.
Then he asks: Will they finish in a day? Answer: No.
And he asks: Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble? Answer: You can’t bring something back to life if it was never alive.
Nehemiah asks the nobles and officials among his people: Shouldn’t you walk in the fear of our God to avoid the reproach of our Gentile enemies? Answer: Doesn’t sound like the best plan to me. Why would your Gentile enemies care about that?
Nehemiah asks his enemies: Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you? Answer: They think you should stop because they think the Jews are plotting a rebellion.
Nehemiah asks: Should a man like me run away? Or should someone like me go into the temple to save his life? Answer: I don’t see why not. There’s not a law against that, is there?
Nehemiah asks: Why is the house of God neglected? Answer: Because there’s no God living in it.
Nehemiah asks the nobles of Judah: What is this wicked thing you are doing—desecrating the Sabbath day? Answer: Providing people with food.
He asks them: Didn’t your ancestors do the same things, so that our God brought all this calamity on us and on this city? Answer: No, I don’t remember Sabbath violations being one of the reasons given for the fall of Jerusalem.
Continue reading The Bible’s questions, answered—part 6: Answers to questions after the splitIs any sound heard from the heavens?
In one psalm, David states that the heavens have no speech, they use no words, and no sound is heard from them. The Bible disagrees.
In fact, David contradicts himself right there in that same passage: He says the heavens declare God’s glory and proclaim his work, and they do it by talking. They pour out speech day after day. Their voice goes out into the earth, and their words go to the ends of the world.
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The Story of the Evil Kings of Judah—
David's Dynasty Starts to Approach Hitler Levels of Evil
Rehoboam, the first king of Judah, was evil. He and his cousin Maakah had a son named Abijah, who succeeded him as king and was also evil. With God’s help, Abijah killed half a million Israelites.1
The next king of Judah was Abijah’s son Asa, and he always did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. Asa brutally oppressed his own people, led them to steal building materials from the king of Israel, and imprisoned people when they criticized him. He took money from God’s treasury and used it to pay the king of Aram to fight against God’s people Israel. God was displeased with this, because he had wanted to fight against Israel himself. So then Asa developed a severe foot disease, and he died two years later.
Continue reading The Story of the Evil Kings of Judah—David’s Dynasty Starts to Approach Hitler Levels of Evil