Category Archives: The bad book

Can money save your life?

No.

No payment is ever enough to get God to let someone live forever, so your money will fail to save your life eventually. There’s nothing you can give in exchange for your soul. There is something you can get that will save your life permanently, but it’s not something you can buy with money. But what about when someone’s life gets cut shorter than normal? Can money help prevent that?

No, the wicked can’t save themselves with their treasure. God’s law does not allow murderers to bribe their way out of the death penalty. It doesn’t allow accidental killers to bribe their way out of being killed if they leave the city of refuge. And it doesn’t allow people to bribe their way out of being murdered if someone has decided to “give them over to the Lord” by “devoting them to destruction“.

Having money isn’t as good as having wisdom and knowledge, because money doesn’t preserve those who have it. Wealth is not what will save you from death. It’s worthless for that. So the rich shouldn’t put their hope in wealth. Those who trust in their riches will fall.

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Does wisdom make people happy?

Yes.

The Bible often says that wisdom brings happiness. Wisdom is like honey. Getting wisdom is extremely desirable and rewarding, because of how pleasant the ways of wisdom are. If you have wisdom, it will brighten your face, and you’ll love your life. Wise people don’t have to live in fear, and they don’t get angry easily, either. Folly, on the other hand, will just get you punished, so that’s no fun.

The wisdom of one person makes other people happy, too. Wise children bring their parents joy, unlike foolish children. Fools don’t give God any pleasure, either. Solomon’s people must have been very happy, getting to hang around him and listen to his wisdom all the time.

You should at least learn the sayings of the wise and start saying them yourself. It says that’s pleasing too. I’m not sure who that’s supposed to please, but it’s definitely pleasing. Or is it?

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The Story of Ruth and Boaz
How I Met Your Great-Grandmother

Ruth was a Moabite woman who married an Israelite man named Mahlon, whose parents, Elimelek and Naomi, had moved to Moab from Judah because of a famine. Naomi’s and Ruth’s husbands both died. When the famine was over, Naomi moved back to Judah, and Ruth chose to go with her, rather than looking for a new husband in Moab. In Judah, Ruth met a man named Boaz, who was a relative of Naomi’s dead husband. Boaz had heard that Ruth was good to Naomi, so he was good to Ruth.

Naomi wanted Ruth to remarry, so she told Ruth to go sneak up on Boaz and lie down with him while he was sleeping. That night, Boaz woke up and found Ruth lying there with him. This was a pleasant surprise, because he was so old. But he said there was another man Ruth should marry rather than him, because that man was more closely related to her first husband. Boaz told Ruth to stay with him for the rest of the night, and then hurry home before anyone saw them together.

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How I Met Your Great-Grandmother
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Were Adam and Eve naked when God confronted them?

The Bible says after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, they heard God coming, and hid behind trees. Adam said the reason he was afraid to be seen was that he was naked. So clearly they were naked when God found them. Afterward, God made them garments out of skin and clothed them.

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The Bible repeats itself too much—Part 3: Implementing plans

This is the third in a series of posts about unnecessary repetition in the Bible.

When characters are telling each other what they’re planning to do, and everything then goes according to plan, a good book will tend to skip telling you the plan, and will just tell you what happened when the plan was carried out. A bad book, like the Bible, will instead tell you all the details of what’s going to happen, and then tell you all the same details again when it gets to the part where it happens.

The Bible says God told Noah he was planning to flood the world. He told him to make an ark to save some people and animals before it rained for 40 days. Then it says Noah did that, some people and animals entered the ark, and it rained for 40 days as God flooded the world. After the flood was over, God told Noah to come out of the ark with his family and all the animals. Then it says Noah came out with his family and all the animals.

God told Abraham to circumcise all the males in his household. Then it says Abraham circumcised all the males in his household.

After Joseph and his family were reunited in Egypt, he said he would go tell Pharaoh his family had come and that they were shepherds, and then Pharaoh would let them live in Goshen. Then it says Joseph went and told Pharaoh that his family had come and that they were shepherds, and Pharaoh said he would let them live in the best part of the land in Goshen. And then it says Joseph’s family went to live in the best part of the land. Later, Jacob told his sons to bury him in Canaan in the cave Abraham had bought. Then after Jacob died, it says his sons buried him in Canaan in the cave Abraham had bought.

Moses said God was going to kill all the firstborn males in Egypt, whether they were royalty, captives, or animals, and there would be loud wailing. Then it says God killed all the firstborn males in Egypt, whether they were royalty, captives, or animals, and there was loud wailing.

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Does God deceive people?

No.

The Bible says God doesn’t lie. In fact, it’s impossible for him to lie. He wants everyone to know the truth, so all his words are flawless and true. His promises are always trustworthy. If he says he’ll do something, he’ll do it. His words never fail. He’s not a mere flawed human being, after all. If a prophet claims to be speaking for God, but what he says turns out not to be true, you can be sure that that message didn’t actually come from God. If it had, it would have been true.

Yes.

The Bible also says God does inspire false prophecies. Sometimes he completely deceives people with his prophecies. He said he intended to test his people by sending them false prophets. God is in control of whether people see false visions. He has been known to send deceiving spirits to intentionally trick prophets into making false predictions.1 He has also been known to have his prophets knowingly make false predictions.

So God’s claim that you can tell a prophecy isn’t from him if it’s false… is false. In fact, the Bible says all prophecy comes from God, so he must be responsible for all the false ones. And there are a ton of false prophecies in the Bible.

Was God actually deceiving people all those times, though? Could it be that he was just mistaken about what was going to happen? Or maybe he changed his mind about what he was going to do? Nope. The Bible says God knows everything, which means he’s never wrong. And he never changes his mind, either. Therefore, every single false statement he makes is a LIE. And God makes a lot of false statements in the Bible.

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Did Jesus want to die?

Yes.

The purpose of Jesus’s trip to Jerusalem was to die. He went there because that’s where prophets die. (Besides, not having to live with the people of his generation anymore would be a relief.) Jesus described his approaching death as him laying down his life of his own accord, rather than others taking his life from him. The epistles describe it the same way, as a willing self-sacrifice.

Jesus didn’t think having your earthly body killed was anything to be afraid of. He could have easily avoided death if he’d wanted to, but he chose to let people kill him in order to fulfill the scriptures. When Peter tried to defend Jesus from the people who wanted to kill him, Jesus told him to stop, because Jesus wanted to do whatever his father’s will was, and God’s will was for Jesus to die.

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The Story of King Abimelek
The King Who Wasn't Killed by a Woman

Gideon was another judge of Israel. He destroyed a pagan object of worship that his father had made, and then he made his people a new one. He also tortured or killed anyone who wouldn’t give his men free food. The Israelites liked Gideon so much, they wanted him to become their king. But he refused. After Gideon died, his son Abimelek murdered his 70 brothers, and then he was made the first king of Israel.

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The King Who Wasn’t Killed by a Woman
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Should a fool be answered according to his folly?

The book of Proverbs says you should not answer a fool according to his folly. That’s because that would be a foolish way to respond, and then you would be no better than the fool.

It then immediately contradicts itself and says you should answer a fool according to his folly. Because if you don’t, the fool will go on thinking he’s wise.

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