At one point, the genealogies in Genesis list Korah as a son of Eliphaz, who was a son of Esau. But everywhere else in the Bible, it says Korah was Esau’s son, including several times in that same chapter that says he was his grandson. Also in the first chapter of 1 Chronicles.
Continue reading Was Korah the son or grandson of Esau?Tag Archives: family
The Story of Queen Athaliah—
Seven Year Bitch
God told a man named Jehu to murder Ahab’s son Joram so Jehu could replace him as king of Israel. So Jehu murdered Joram and his whole family. God was pleased. Ahaziah king of Judah was visiting Joram at the time, so Jehu also murdered Ahaziah and 42 of his relatives. Then Jehu murdered all the Israelites who worshipped Baal.
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Should people honor their parents?
Yes.
God’s law says you should honor your father and your mother, and then you’ll have a good long life. It also says that people who dishonor their parents are to be cursed. And that people who curse their parents are to be killed.
Solomon says you should listen to and hold to what your parents teach you, and not despise them. If you mock your father or scorn your mother, ravens will peck your eye out. And if you curse your parents, you’ll die.
God said he was going to send the prophet Elijah to his people again, and if Elijah didn’t succeed in turning the hearts of the children to their parents, then God would totally destroy the land.
Jesus says honoring your parents is one of the good things you have to do to get eternal life. He says if you think giving money to God is more important than using it to help your parents, then you are breaking God’s command. So honoring your parents is even more important than honoring God. And Paul says it’s right for children to obey their parents “in the Lord”, whatever that means.
No.
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The Story of the Evil Kings of Judah—
David's Dynasty Starts to Approach Hitler Levels of Evil
Rehoboam, the first king of Judah, was evil. He and his cousin Maakah had a son named Abijah, who succeeded him as king and was also evil. With God’s help, Abijah killed half a million Israelites.1
The next king of Judah was Abijah’s son Asa, and he always did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. Asa brutally oppressed his own people, led them to steal building materials from the king of Israel, and imprisoned people when they criticized him. He took money from God’s treasury and used it to pay the king of Aram to fight against God’s people Israel. God was displeased with this, because he had wanted to fight against Israel himself. So then Asa developed a severe foot disease, and he died two years later.
Continue reading The Story of the Evil Kings of Judah—David’s Dynasty Starts to Approach Hitler Levels of Evil
Did the Jews think God was their only father?
In John 8, Jesus talks to some Jews, who are on his side at the beginning of the conversation. But then he starts making outrageous unfounded accusations against them, and before long they think Jesus is demon-possessed and should be stoned to death.
During that conversation, Jesus mentions these Jews doing what their father has told them. They respond that Abraham is their father. When Jesus disagrees, the Jews now insist that God is the only father they have. (Which they think somehow shows that they’re not illegitimate children.) Jesus doesn’t agree with that either, and insists the devil is their father. But forget about what Jesus thinks… How can the Jews say God is their only father, when they just said Abraham is their father?
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The Story of King Solomon—
The Wisest Man in the World
When King David was old, he had trouble staying warm. His attendants solved that problem by finding a hot girl to lie next to him in bed. Her name was Abishag, but he didn’t shag her. One day, David’s wife Bathsheba came to his room with a complaint.
She said David had promised that her son Solomon would be the next king. But now another son of David, Adonijah, had made himself king. Then David had Bathsheba come to his room, and he declared Solomon to be the new king of Israel.
When Adonijah heard about that, he was afraid Solomon would kill him. Solomon decided not to kill his brother for trying to become king. But then when Adonijah tried to marry Abishag, Solomon did kill him, because he thought that meant Adonijah was trying to become king. After David died, Solomon also killed a man David had sworn would not be killed, because Solomon was a wise man.
One night, after Solomon sacrificed at an unauthorized altar, God offered to give him anything he wanted. Solomon asked for wisdom, because he was young and inexperienced and ignorant and didn’t know right from wrong. God was so pleased that Solomon hadn’t asked for money that he made Solomon the richest king of all time, and he also made him the wisest person of all time. Solomon later asked God to let him live as long as the sun and moon endured. But apparently God didn’t like that request as much.
After he became wise, Solomon suggested cutting a baby in half. Then he wisely decided not to let the baby be raised by a prostitute who thought his idea was a good one. (He gave the baby to a different prostitute instead.)
King Solomon ruled over many other kingdoms in addition to Israel. During his reign there was peace for Israel, except when there wasn’t. He wrote thousands of songs2 and proverbs, and studied plants and animals. People came from all over the world to hear his wisdom. But wisdom was beyond him.
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Do God’s people love or hate their siblings?
There are a couple of epistles that say you should love them. The book of Hebrews says to keep loving one another as brothers and sisters. (Maybe that’s not actually about actual siblings, but it still only makes sense if you should love your actual siblings.)
1 John says has quite a bit to say in favor of loving your siblings. It says if you love your brother or sister, you live in the light, and there’s nothing in you that will make you stumble. But if you hate your brother or sister, you’re walking blindly in the darkness. It says God has commanded that we must love our brothers and sisters. If people don’t love their siblings, you know they’re liars, murderers, and children of the devil, who don’t love God and will not have eternal life.
Jesus himself says just being angry with your brother or sister will bring God’s judgment on you. He seems to think God takes grudges between siblings more seriously than things that God actually made laws about.
But Jesus also says people who don’t hate their brothers and sisters can’t be his disciples. And Paul says the debt to love one another is a debt that should remain outstanding. In other words, don’t love anyone.
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The Story of King Absalom—
A Man’s Enemies Are the Members of His Own Household
David’s son Amnon was obsessed with his beautiful sister Tamar. Amnon’s nephew advised him to pretend to be sick. Then he could request a meal to be served to him in bed by his sister. So he did. When Tamar went to Amnon’s bedroom and tried to give him some food, he wouldn’t eat it. Instead, he told her to get in bed with him.
Tamar said she couldn’t do that right now, because that would be foolish and wicked and disgraceful. They should get married first! She was sure their righteous father David would allow his children to marry each other. But Amnon ignored her proposal, raped her, and sent her away. Absalom, another son of David, saw Tamar crying, and he told her to shut up. He said she should stop taking Amnon’s actions so seriously, because he was just her brother.
King David was not happy with what Amnon had done. Two years later, Absalom had Amnon killed. David heard that all his sons had been killed, and he wasn’t happy about that, either. When he found out that only Amnon was dead, he was just slightly more happy. Absalom wasn’t allowed to see his father for two years. Then Absalom set Joab’s barley field on fire, which convinced him to let Absalom visit David.
Absalom became popular (despite his disgracefully long hair) by kissing all the men who came to see King David. Then Absalom was able to get the people to declare him king of Israel. When David heard that his son was trying to overthrow him, he and most of his household ran away. But he made ten of his girlfriends stay behind to take care of his palace.
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The Story of David and Bathsheba—
The Only Thing David Ever Did That God Didn't Approve of
King David heard that Nahash, the Ammonite king who had wanted to gouge out the eyes of all the Israelites, had died. So David sent diplomats to tell Nahash’s successor how sorry David was that such a kind man had died. But the Ammonites assumed that David’s men must be spies plotting to overthrow them. So they sent the diplomats away half naked, and started a war with Israel. David stayed home while he had his commander Joab go out and lead Israel in fighting the Ammonites (which God had commanded them not to do).
David was walking around on the roof of his palace one night, when he saw a beautiful woman taking a bath. He learned that her name was Bathsheba, and that she was the wife of Uriah, one of David’s chief warriors, who was away fighting in the war. David had Bathsheba brought to the palace, had sex with her, and sent her back home.
Continue reading The Story of David and Bathsheba—The Only Thing David Ever Did That God Didn’t Approve of
The Story of King Ish-Bosheth—
The One Where Nearly Everybody Gets Killed, But It's Not God's Doing for a Change
After Saul and his whole family died, his dead son Ish-Bosheth succeeded him as king of Israel. But David was made king of the tribe of Judah. The commander of the army of Israel was Saul’s cousin Abner, and the commander of the army of Judah was David’s nephew Joab.
These commanders thought it would be fun to see some men stab each other to death. So they made two dozen of their soldiers stab each other to death. But Joab’s brother Asahel didn’t like that, so he chased Abner. Abner didn’t like that, so he stabbed Asahel to death. Joab didn’t like that, so he chased Abner, too. But then Abner suggested not chasing him. So Joab stopped chasing him.
King Ish-Bosheth offended his commander Abner by accusing him of sleeping with Saul’s girlfriend. So Abner decided to desert Ish-Bosheth and help David take over Israel. When Abner offered to help David become king of all Israel, David agreed to let him do that… but only if he did David a favor first.
By this time David had married at least four women. But Saul had taken back his daughter Michal, David’s first wife, and given her to somebody else. David had Abner steal Michal back for him and make her other husband go away. After doing that, Abner went off to convince the Israelites to make David their king.
But David’s commander Joab didn’t like Abner, who had killed Joab’s brother. Joab thought Abner must have only come there to spy on David for Ish-Bosheth. So Joab found Abner and stabbed him to death. David didn’t like that (even though he had previously declared that Abner must die). So David put a curse on Joab’s family, and later had his son kill Joab.
Continue reading The Story of King Ish-Bosheth—The One Where Nearly Everybody Gets Killed, But It’s Not God’s Doing for a Change