The Bible says shortly before the soldiers crucified Jesus, they offered him some wine, which he refused.1 But the gospels disagree on what was mixed in with that wine.
Continue reading What was in the wine Jesus was offered before he was crucified?Category Archives: The bad book
The Story of the Mutiny Against Moses—
Bring it On, On
Moses and Aaron had brought the Israelites out of Egypt, a land flowing with milk and honey where they had prospered, and had left them to die in the wilderness. So 250 men of Israel, led by Korah, Dathan, Abiram, and On, came together to oppose them. These men said Moses and Aaron shouldn’t have authority over the rest of the people, because all of Israel was holy. Moses told these men to appear with Aaron before the Lord, and said God would decide who was or wasn’t holy. So they all gathered in front of the tent of meeting.
God told Moses and Aaron to stand back so he could destroy the rest of the Israelites. Moses and Aaron reminded God, once again, that he shouldn’t do that, because not all of them had sinned. So instead, God had Moses tell the rest of the Israelites to stand back so he could destroy Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, the rebel leaders.
Moses announced that if the earth opened up and swallowed those men, that would be a sign that God had appointed Moses to lead Israel. Then the earth opened up and swallowed Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, and their innocent wives and children. God also killed the 250 rebels with fire. But the other rebel leader, On, wasn’t killed. So he must have been a holy leader chosen by the Lord, just like Moses and Aaron. On was never mentioned again.
Continue reading The Story of the Mutiny Against Moses—Bring it On, On
Will the heavens and earth last forever?
Yes.
The Bible states that God has established the earth and the heavens forever. The earth’s foundations are everlasting, and it will remain forever. The Bible equates “forever” with “as long as the heavens endure“.
People who die can expect to stay trapped beneath the earth forever, which is only possible if the earth exists forever. Also, Christians who die can expect to go to live in an eternal house in heaven, where they will enjoy the everlasting inheritance that’s being kept for them there.
Continue reading Will the heavens and earth last forever?Irrationality in the Bible
Superstition
The Bible claims that random decision generators like dice are controlled by God and should be treated as infallible. That’s how the Bible encourages people to answer important questions, like whether someone is guilty of breaking the law. That or perform other silly rituals, like making people drink dirty water, and wishing for the water to harm them, but only if they’re guilty.
Another Bible-approved way to answer hard questions is to ask priests or prophets. (Or you can follow Paul’s example and just assume your own dreams are telling you about something real.) The priests are to be treated as infallible and always unquestioningly obeyed. And anyone who thinks the priests might not be so perfect is to be killed.
The Bible makes fun of superstitious people consulting fortune-tellers and divination instruments… and then advises them to consult these other fortune-tellers and divination instruments instead. It also makes fun of people praying to worthless pagan gods instead of the Bible-approved God. But I think you’ll find you get pretty much the same results no matter which entity you try asking for help or answers.
The Bible claims that seeking God is all you have to do to fully understand what’s right. It tells both kings and commoners to obsessively follow all its terrible rules, and indoctrinate their children with them. And it’s portrayed as a good thing when a foreign king decides to kill or otherwise punish his subjects if they don’t obey the biblical laws.
The Bible claims that curses are only effective when they’re deserved. This is the kind of thing that leads people to falsely think unfortunate people must be getting what they deserve. It discourages people from trying to either identify or fix the real cause of the problem.
The Bible blames mental health problems on “evil spirits“. And it commands sick people to seek help from religious authorities, rather than doctors. Jesus does say the sick need a doctor, but that’s just a metaphorical way of referring to himself. The Bible portrays the care of actual doctors as useless and the wrong choice, claiming that human help is worthless. It threatens people with curses and destruction if they rely on anyone but God for help. But in reality, it’s religious healings that are useless and the wrong choice.
Anti-intellectualism
The God of the Bible seems to hate it when humans are smart. When he created humans, the first thing he told them they must not do was to eat fruit from the tree of knowledge, which would give them wisdom. God thinks wisdom and knowledge are useless. When he sees intelligent people, he kills them or turns them into fools, because he likes them better that way.
God also seems to hate seeing humans make any technological progress. When he saw that people were developing better construction techniques so they could make an unprecedentedly tall building, God wasn’t happy with them. He didn’t want people working together and figuring out ways to do amazing new things. So he put a stop to that project by restricting their ability to communicate.
Then when God had people build things for him later on, he wouldn’t let them use any tools. He threatens to punish people just for using fire to help them see. He’d rather they blindly trust him as they walk in the dark. God likes his people to be sheep.
Paul made a point of intentionally becoming foolish and ignorant when he preached. He demonized philosophy and taught his followers that it was futile to try to be wise or knowledgeable. Even Solomon claimed that investigating deep questions is somehow not honorable, that you shouldn’t rely on your own understanding, and that gaining wisdom and knowledge is pointless and only brings sorrow2 and death. Why do these people hate wisdom and thinking so much? Probably because that kind of thing can lead people to see how wrong the Bible is.
The Bible says you should respond to foolishness with similar foolishness. Why? Because otherwise, the fool will think he’s wise. But that would only be a bad thing because he currently isn’t in fact wise. Thinking you’re wise isn’t inherently a bad thing, as the Bible claims it is. If it was bad to consider yourself wise, that would mean that people would need to be either foolish or wrong, and people should be neither of those things.
So how about educating the fool and feeding him wisdom instead of more foolishness? If you help him become wise, then he’ll be right to think he’s wise. But if you live by the Bible, you’re not allowed to even point out foolishness.
Continue reading Irrationality in the BibleIs honesty pleasant?
Proverbs says an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. That means it’s quite pleasant, right? But Job (who knows a thing or two about pain) says the opposite: Honest words are quite painful.
Continue reading Is honesty pleasant?
The Story of the Twelve Explorers—
You Didn't Tell Us There Would Be Giants
Moses sent twelve men to explore the land of Canaan, which God had promised to give to the Israelites, to see what the land and the people there were like. The men found that the land was very good, but it was inhabited by Anakites. To show how good the land was, they brought back a cluster of grapes too big for one person to carry.
The men reported that the land was very good, but it was inhabited by big, strong Anakites in big, strong cities.3 Two of the explorers, Joshua and Caleb, thought the Israelites should go and take that good land for themselves. But the rest of the explorers said they couldn’t do that, because the people there were too big and strong.
When the Israelites heard this, they said it would be better to die in the wilderness than to try to take over that land. They decided to try to kill Moses and go back to Egypt. When the untemptable God heard their plans, he was tempted to kill all the Israelites except Moses and his descendants.
But Moses reminded God, again, that killing all his people would be bad for his reputation. Everyone would think God was incapable of bringing his people to the promised land. When the all-knowing, never-changing, all-good God heard this, he changed his mind and decided not to kill everybody, again.
Continue reading The Story of the Twelve Explorers—You Didn’t Tell Us There Would Be Giants
Should people offer God things they got for free?
One time, when David was trying to get God to stop killing thousands of innocent people to punish David for obeying God, David decided he had to make God a sacrifice. When someone offered to give David some free oxen to sacrifice, David said that wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t be right to offer God something that cost him nothing. That wouldn’t be a real sacrifice at all! So he paid for the oxen and then sacrificed them, and God accepted his offering and stopped killing innocent people.
But what about that other time, when Abraham had just passed God’s test by showing how easily he could be convinced to murder his own children? In that story, God provided Abraham with a free ram, just so he could offer it right back to God. Here God certainly doesn’t seem to have a problem with people giving him things that cost them nothing. Instead, he’s actively encouraging it.
And when Joshua had the Israelites destroy the city of Jericho, he said God wanted them to plunder all its people’s valuables and put them in God’s treasury. The Israelites certainly didn’t pay for those stolen goods, but apparently God wanted to have them anyway. As long as you’re giving him valuable stuff, God doesn’t seem to care how you got it.
Continue reading Should people offer God things they got for free?Should foreigners eat the Passover meal?
When God tells Moses the rules for the Passover holiday, he says no foreigner is allowed to eat the Passover meal. Then he repeatedly contradicts himself and says foreigners are allowed to eat it. Sometimes he even says they’re required to eat it.
Continue reading Should foreigners eat the Passover meal?
The Story of the Plague of Quail—
God Solves a Problem by Creating a Worse Problem
The Israelites were getting tired of eating nothing but bread from heaven, so they asked for some meat. Moses didn’t know where to get meat, even though God had already given them meat when they had asked before. So Moses asked God to kill him.
Continue reading The Story of the Plague of Quail—God Solves a Problem by Creating a Worse Problem
Does God sleep?
The Bible says God never sleeps. (And he never slumbers, either!) He’s always alert and watching over everyone, which is why nothing ever harms his people. So why are people always having to wake him up?
Continue reading Does God sleep?